Caregiver burnout: How women can cope with the fatigue and the impact to their finances

The responsibility for caregiving in a family, whether for aged parents or a sick family member, tends to fall on the woman, whether she’s single or married.
A 2022 Quality of Life of Caregivers study by the National Council of Social Service (NCSS) found that 60 per cent of caregivers in Singapore are women.
The White Paper on Singapore Women’s Development, also in 2022, revealed that women were at least four times more likely to have caregiving responsibilities than men.
“Traditional mindsets and gender stereotypes often designate women as primary caregivers,” said Koh Yan Ping, CEO of the Singapore Council of Women’s Organisations (SCWO). “Before women were more present in the workforce, caregiving and child-rearing were seen as natural extensions to their role in giving birth.”
Over time, “unpaid, unrecognised labour becomes a societal norm, presenting caregiving as a ‘burden’, primarily for women”, she added.
According to the 2023 Population in Brief report, 19.1 per cent of the population is aged 65 years and above, and this number will rise to 24.1 per cent by 2030.
Unmarried women with no children tend to shoulder caregiving responsibilities as their married siblings, if any, would have families of their own to care for, a 2019 AWARE Eldercare Research Report found.
She would see to her parents’ day-to-day needs, and take time off work to accompany them to medical and healthcare appointments.
Married women who do take on caregiving duties are part of the sandwich generation. Typically aged between 39 and 59 years, they’re caught in-between having to care for both their elderly parents and growing children.
The White Paper on women’s development also found that married women in dual-income households are five times more likely than men to be managing both household and caregiving responsibilities.
FINANCIAL IMPACT ON WOMEN CAREGIVERS
Being the main caregiver has a financial impact on women, regardless of marital status. Her income could be affected if she has to take unpaid leave for caregiver duties, and may have reduced personal savings from out-of-pocket expenses.
Some women also decide to work part-time to free up their time as caregivers. 
Evelyn Chng, central cluster head and programme manager at Caregivers Alliance Limited, a non-profit organisation that supports caregivers of those with mental health issues, told CNA Women that before her current role, she worked part-time, including shift work in a retail job. She was juggling between caring for her teenage son, and her mother, who has dementia. 
It also isn’t unheard of for women to leave their jobs to be a full-time caregiver. The 2022 Ministry of Manpower (MOM) Labour Force in Singapore report found that over 80,000 women of those surveyed had done so due to caregiving responsibilities.
Of these, 16 per cent were singles caring for family members, said the report.
This, naturally, leads to a loss of income. The AWARE eldercare report said that women caregivers, on average, could potentially lose 63 per cent of their income as a result of leaving their jobs.
Many also do not have enough personal savings for their old age. An online survey by the SCWO in June 2022 found that “almost half of the respondents were found to not have enough savings for retirement”, said SCWO’s Koh.
“Retirement adequacy is also often overlooked as much of a woman’s time and energy goes into caregiving, leaving little for her own needs as she ages and retires,” she added.
To help women caregivers have financial peace of mind, supporting them in the workforce is important.
“A shift in employer mindset is essential. Women taking career breaks for caregiving often struggle to re-enter the workforce and face discriminatory hiring practices,” said Koh.
“Employers need to be aware of the challenges caregivers, especially to loved ones with mental health issues and dementia, face,” added Chng.
Some ways in which companies can help, said Koh, is to consider “flexible work arrangement requests to help women balance their career and caregiving responsibilities”.
She also encouraged men to share in the caregiving duties to reduce the burden on women.
RECOGNISING SIGNS OF CAREGIVER BURNOUT  
Caregiver exhaustion is real, and the fatigue and stress manifests as caregiver burnout.  
“Burnout can take many forms and it may be different for everyone. Some can get irritable and may become abusive while others become reclusive. At the same time, some lose interest in the things around them or sleep or eat too much, or too little,” said Chng.
Signs of burnout include: Overwhelming fatigue, recurring headaches, tense muscles and falling sick often. It can also affect your emotions, leading to a sense of ineffectiveness, an increasingly negative mindset and a loss of motivation, said SCWO’s Koh.  
“Caregivers need to acknowledge that they are stretched to the max, but many don’t,” said Chng, whose own experience with caregiver burnout took the form of insomnia, panic attacks and anxiety.
She recalls feeling so breathless one time, that she asked her husband to call an ambulance. “The doctor told me I had a panic attack,” said Chng.
At the peak of her caregiving, Chng was juggling between her mum’s medical appointments, work, postgraduate studies and managing two households as her mother lives on her own with a helper.
“Even as a high-functioning individual, I was cognisant that I needed a time-out,” she said.
WOMEN CAREGIVERS NEED TO PRIORITISE TIME FOR SELF-CARE
“It’s important for women who take on caregiving roles to recognise the signs and symptoms of stress and burnout, and practise self-care for their physical and mental well-being,” said Koh.
Chng, for example, saw a psychiatrist and practised mindfulness. “I found joy in having a meal by myself to enjoy the peace and quiet alone, or from watching short YouTube videos on my train commute.”
She added that the caregiving journey is a long-haul one, and such positive coping skills help one regain energy and build the resistance they need as a caregiver. 
DON’T FEEL BAD ABOUT ASKING FOR HELP   
While it might feel like you’re alone in your caregiver struggles, know that help is at hand.
“It’s vital that men share in caregiving responsibilities, which can involve undertaking simple gestures, such as caregiving or domestic chores at home,” said Koh.
Chng knows this from experience. Her husband and daughter both stepped up to spend time with her mother, to give Chng some respite. 
Koh said caregivers can reach out to community agencies like the Agency for Integrated Care (AIC) for support and resources. AIC works with caregivers to strengthen their capabilities in delivering quality care, which can focus on care navigation, financial support, workplace support, caregiver respite options, and caregiver empowerment and training.
Ching’s organisation, Caregiver Alliance Limited, also provides education, a support network, crisis support and self-care enablement, especially for caregivers dealing with persons with mental health issues. Its 12-week Caregiver-to-Caregiver Training Programme, conducted by counsellors, allied health professionals and caregiver leaders, can offer the education and support needed.
Tapping on the resources available, be it daycare services, a helper or family members, can alleviate caregiver stress, said Chng.
This, together with recognising the signs of burnout and learning how to cope with it, can build resilience to keep women going in their caregiving journey.
CNA Women is a section on CNA Lifestyle that seeks to inform, empower and inspire the modern woman. If you have women-related news, issues and ideas to share with us, email CNAWomen [at] mediacorp.com.sg.